"Light beer is evil. It's like drinking dishwater: it tastes foul and you're not sure what the point of drinking it is."
"Better not do that in here. Some people might get offended."
"Yeah, I left my Paula Abdul CD at home and I cry myself to sleep."
"She is clueless, in denial, and not interested; a bad combination."
"I like frozen twinkies, but I do not eat them all of the time."
"One bonus for coming to class late is that it ends earlier."
"It's so annoying that I get so easily annoyed."
"It's like playing Jenga with code."
On the perils of updating someone else's poorly written code.
"They're jelly beans, not people."
After being scolded for throwing away bad jelly beans
"I got a tingle in my toes from a tangerine jelly bean."
"Since when does W come before Wolf?"
"When someone asks you, 'Did that hit your face?' you know things could be going better for you."